Waspy diets

Eat up! I know that sounds like blasphemy in this era of lifestyle diseases. It may even inspire feelings of execration from some models who aspire to have the enviable waistline of a wasp, and their ambitious apprentices who religiously adhere to slimming diets.

But hear me out, I am encouraging this with noble intentions. I will also acquaint you with the dangers of assimilating tiny appetites akin to a just-mentioned insect at mealtimes for whatever reason.

I am not encouraging swine-like eating habits (the animal analogies are really coming today). The dangers of excesses are well documented. What I am advocating for is eating a substantive amount of food. It’s a particularly worrying trend among some ladies, especially the population within our campuses. Too little is consumed at mealtimes, which are overly stretched, and coupled with the sometimes sedentary way of life (read watching movies in bed all day) the body doesn’t complain a lot either.

The absence of symptoms does not necessarily mean the absence of a problem, and in this case a potentially painful one. The human stomach and intestines were designed to work with a certain quantity of food, with failsafe mechanisms to stop you from eating too little (hunger pangs) or too much (satiation).

That we sometimes ignore these signs is a great risk on our part. I usually believe if only we could be more attentive to what our bodies inform us and act with reason then a lot of trips to the hospital would be avoided.

Anyway, back to our discussion on feeding habits. One of the functions of the large intestine is extracting water from the food we eat. This is a task it accomplishes with great zeal and mastery. Great. Yes, great. It is the reason why the fluid-like contents of the small intestine turn into solid-like poop.

When there’s enough food material for it to work with, the bulk of that food stimulates the intestines to push the food further along the tract until the journey’s end (rectum). One then feels a great urge to empty their bowels (or go to Europe, as some friends of mine call it. Just a trope and not their views on the reputable continent). That is what is supposed to happen.

When the food is too little, things take a slight detour. This is a possible scenario. There simply isn’t enough bulk to stimulate the large intestine to push the food material further down the intestinal tract. You don’t feel like paying a visit to the johns.

What happens next you ask? The large intestine draws more water from the aspiring poop. Since you are still abstaining from food or your intake is extremely little, its weight does not reach the threshold to make it journey further. So it continues to reside in that large water extraction plant…and loses even more water.

Eventually, you do eat up. You have done well. Now the train has enough locomotive power to move on. Just one thing though. The malevolent products of that extended water extraction procedure are now rock hard and harshly incongruous pellets. Try going to offload now. The herculean proportions of pain you will endure will be enough to make you shy of restrooms even in your dreams.

That generous dishing of pain is not necessarily a symbol of success either. Cases exist where the evil pellets have to be surgically removed because doing things the normal way proved too expensive, the currency here being pain. That’s the detour.

Pretty undesirable? I agree. Prevention? Why, eat up! Don’t binge, of course, but eat like a human, whatever your diet. That 3-inch waistline may take more work or exercise to acquire, but you can be at peace knowing that you won’t be playing Russian roulette when you ‘go to Europe’.

How little is too little? Well, you are your best advisor on that. The beauty of our systems is that God loves diversity so much He made no two people alike. Only you can know when you have had enough, too much, or too little. Your stomach is always keeping you updated on its affairs through feelings of hunger pangs, satiation, and the like. Don’t ignore any…and… don’t take the saying an apple a day too literally.

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