A Manly Check-up

I can state with a lot of confidence that the male species of the human race do not fancy hospitals. No reason can motivate a man to go to a hospital out of his own will and good pleasure. It is always out of being compelled…because there was no other unimpeachable choice. It just had to be done.

I am yet to figure out why this attitude has such a high prevalence in men. It is no respecter of race, creed, social class or caste…& it is killing us off. I should know, I am a member of the said gender by birth and naturalization.

Despite my decent exposure to the medical field, I still don’t like going to a medical center. It feels distasteful right to the bone, more so if I am going to get medical advice.

My intellect will win any argument that suggests seeking medical attention is counterproductive, bolt-easy, but my heart will still be adamant. All men out there worth their testosterone can relate. Men don’t like asking for help.

Which is why I am asking, nay, pleading with us all to surmount this genetic impediment and get into a flippin’ hospital. By the time a man is going to the hospital, he has already had a chat with the angel of death. If things are not that desperate then forget it.

Listen here, all ye purveyors of trousers & beards. The bandits that attack our health are not a happy-go-lucky band. They know their stuff. By the time you are feeling overwhelmed it might be too late, too expensive & unnecessarily stressful. You could save yourself a lot of perseverance by taking your health as seriously as you do football, motoring &… let me censor that thought.

I will take two diseases that doth so easily beset us to illustrate. In the Utopian scenario, you get sick, have a few symptoms but since you are fit and at the prime of your life; your body bullies off the invading organism and life goes on, right?

Wrong! Granted, our immune systems are a marvel but this is a messed up world. We cannot always handle everything thrown at us satisfactorily. Let’s take a look at malaria. A common malady. The parasite is skilled at evading the immune system by hiding inside the liver and later the red blood cells, where they multiply and make merry.

Eventually, our immunity does get around to evulsion of the thugs, but the damage done by then is horrifying. The liver is a shell of its former self, the red blood cells are rarefied and the spleen is exhausted.

Red blood cells carry oxygen around and without them, you are sputtering to the grave. Anemia it is called. Worse still, the parasite can get into the brain and turn you into a mosquito. Just kidding, but cerebral malaria will make you wish you were not yourself. If you are feeling the symptoms(headache, fever, joint pains, cold extremities, etc) get help my frien…run to it.

Now to season two. Let’s take the script to one typhoid. Caused by the scarily named Salmonella, this bacteria burrows inside the intestines and hides inside your cells, making it hard for the police in your body to find them.

Salmonella is a true goon. It doesn’t get into your cells by asking nicely. It burrows its way inside. While you are busy evading the hospital and looking manly by concealing that abdominal pain, your intestines are in deep trouble.

There is no pleasant way to put this, holes in the intestines are holes in the intestines. Even a 3-year-old knows holes are not good for the alimentary canal. You can’t absorb what you eat, if you even get around to eating. Bleeding will probably kill you too. At this point, a hospital will be treating you while contacting the priest.

Is all this really necessary? & those are just two rookies. Far worse bacteria, fungi, and viruses exist out there. For once let us keep our ego out of this. If you are feeling unwell, you are…get aid. If you are in doubt, go for a check-up.
You won’t feel any better just because you decided to go, but you might just add a few more painless years to your life.

If it was something serious, early treatment will definitely make your recovery easier and faster. Any doctor can vouch for that. If it wasn’t serious, no harm done. You haven’t lost any hair on your head…and you can confidently go back to worrying about other serious and manly things, like football, motoring and…you know what. Let’s all have a manly day, and if need be, redefine what it means to be manly. Let us take better care of ourselves.

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